Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Night --> Morning

9:59.  Can't sleep.  So tired.  Hip sore.  Don't know why.  Need to call health insurance in the morning.  Need to send birthday card tomorrow.  Need to take better care of my feet... my heels feel like they belong to a 90-year-old distance runner.  Head to toe analysis of what I ought to do to take better care - haircut, eyebrow wax, really should floss more, need to get my abs back in shape, need to shave my legs + the feet.  10:15.  Forgot to run dishwasher. Get up.  Dishwasher soap, hit the button, soothing whir. Write birthday card.  Find stamp. So many phone calls to return.  Should I call someone now?  No.  Too late, too tired.  Poke through mail.  Hit light.  Back to bed.  Wonder about work, fall, childcare.  Falls to come.  Where will little J go to school?  Public?  Private?  I love this neighborhood.  The schools aren't great.  We'll have to move again.  Ugh... moving.  Still need to unpack the office.  Need to figure out why the printer eats paper now.  Need office supplies.  Need to go to Target.  Need to schedule work call around J's nap schedule for Wednesday.  Need to get rid of this blackhead on my nose. 11:00.  Maybe I'll turn the clock the other way now.  Want to try making curried eggplant, the winning dish on Top Chef this week.  Friend has lots of eggplants in her community garden.  Should call her.  Neighbors' light goes on, neighbors' light goes off.  Car blasting reggaeton rolls down the street.  Hot.  Cold.  Need to take better care of my feet.

Morning Run
5:15.  The baby calls over the monitor and wakes me from the lightest of sleeps.  Quick, quick out of bed to grab him before he wakes the husband... one of us should sleep in.  He's wide awake and thirsty.  Cuddle through a bottle.  My body is addled with insomnia nerves... it's time to change it up.  Red Sox shorts, sports bra, tank, socks.  Foot lotion before the socks... so there!  Grab a toy for J and strap him into the jogging stroller.  We've never run in this 'hood before.  I head towards the pond and feel the last few weeks in my achy hips... lots of lifting, carrying, unpacking, but no running, and I feel it.  Take off down the sidewalk.  In Vermont and Maine, my run was solitary down a dirt road or through the woods.  I've forgotten what it is like to be part of a community of morning runners.  I LOVE it.  I love the older people, out for a slow but deliberate walk.  I love the marathoners, no body fat, trucking past me at warp speed.  I love reading the slogans on peoples' t-shirts, uttering a breathless "mornin'" as we pass eachother.  And J likes to wave at people from his stroller, so I get lots of grins and waves as we roll by.  Positive energy.  I feel my body chemistry shift.  Endorphins replace sleepless adrenaline.  I exhale.  Jamaica Pond is so beautiful, I want to cry.  I love that this is my new run... this mix of nature and city, right out my door.  I take a wrong turn, hit a dead end in a path, turn around and there's the husband on his bike.  "I thought you might get turned around", he grins.  We take off together, people watching and chatting.  This is our new life.  Relief washes over me and the night fades away.   It's a new day.  Embrace it.
Art Credit:  Above, Edward Hopper, Night Windows.  Below, Edward Gault, Jamaica Pond #1.


  1. I couldn't fall asleep either last night, and then woke up early for no reason at all. Thanks for inspiring me to grab Magoo and go for a looooong walk in my beautiful hood. So happy you found your HOME.

  2. LOVE THIS! LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS! You're the best and so is the hubbs.

  3. This post made me teary eyed...love to you & the new chapter of life for you all. xoxo -Al

  4. Sigh, you are such a great writer. I love these glimpses into your mind. So poetic.

  5. provocative and poignant
    love both the personal and universal insight
    when your husband shows up on his bike, i cried
    that scene is the very definition of love
    also love the line "We take off together, people watching and chatting."
    it can be read two ways
    thanks for letting us all watch and chat
    the contrast between the Hopper and Gault - brilliant

  6. I love reading your blog Jane! So interesting and inspirational to read about your life changes and how you are handling them. So glad you guys are happy in the city!

  7. I don't know how I got here, but I followed the link in Facebook and now here I am and this...this is beautiful, Jane.