Friday, January 6, 2012

Nap Time

I deeply love the little man's nap time.
I equally love the utterly chaotic moments of the day where I am chasing, wrangling, feeding, singing and playing, but there is something special about the peace in the middle of the day when he sleeps for two blessed hours.  I love the complete silence... no music, no noisy chores, no talking, just the heat clicking on and off, and the soft padding of the dog behind me as he follows me from room to room. 

I love quietly doing the dishes of the morning with the hot water running over my hands and the satisfying clink of the dishes sliding into their places in the dishwasher.  I love carrying the laundry in a wicker basket up and down the stairs (no, I'm not kidding)... as there's something kind of ancient and sacred about the ritual of laundry (although I'm thankful that my ritual involves pushing a button and not beating something clean against a river rock, let's be real).  I love brewing a cup of tea and sitting down to write, and pouring my heart out on the page in the silence.  I love this time alone with my own thoughts; a time to exhale, to refocus, to settle.  I'm also so grateful that on those days where I am really, truly bone tired, I can curl up under a blanket in the silence and close my eyes to rest myself.  I love stirring together a big pot of soup, or throwing great things in the slow cooker, or prepping for dinner at this time of day, when I can really take in all of the ingredients and revel in preparing this food for my family. What I love most of all is the way that the warm afternoon light spills in through our apartment windows and makes everything gold at this hour of the day.

There are days I miss my office life: that quiet, orderly place which someone else cleans, with plenty of intellectual stimulation and hilarious co-workers.  Some days I panic about my lack of a paycheck or forward motion in my career, and what my prospects will be when it is time to go back to that life.  I write this post to return to on days like those, to appreciate all that I have in being at home, and how much I truly love it, and how I want to strive to savor these fleeting days.  This silence is a gift, and I need to soak up every minute of it.

The best part of nap time comes at the end, when he wakes up and leaps from his bed into my arms.  We sit on the couch and snuggle in silence until his little boy engine revs back up again and we're off to the races for the rest of the afternoon.  In those quiet moments where I am holding this warm, sleepy child on my chest, I feel truly at peace.  And that means everything.


  1. Loved this one SMJ. I get one week day home with my girl and I totally love the quiet nap time. I love when she is up and running around with me and talking to me as I try to be productive, but that nap time I also cherish because I can get so much done during it and then I am ready when she wakes up and gives me a hug and says hi. Sometimes I try to get a head start on the weekend chores on the days I am home with H, but some days I just let myself snuggle and play with her. It is such a special time.

    I am loving your new 2012 attitude Jane, there is no need to be perfect. You are an amazing woman, wife, mother and friend and you are always challenging yourself and in my book that is just as good as perfect. Love ya and hope to talk soon.

  2. Thanks PR and SSG. I so appreciate your comments.
    Sara -- You're the best. We have to cross paths this year. H & J will love each other and we miss you guys!

  3. I felt like you were writing from my mind with this post. I truly cherish little r's naptime as well, and I find that I always keep things quiet while I work, rest, blog, internet... I also have the same uncomfortable anxiety on occasion about not working right now. The fear of wondering if I'll have a career to go back to or what will happen to my brain in the interim. I also find myself craving the routine that a job can bring to your life. Slowly I'm finding my balance. It was nice to read this blog post and see that others struggle with similar thoughts.