This morning was hard. Baby J has his first cold, and we had to make the call on whether or not to send him in to daycare. He's actually on the tail end of this little fall bug that everyone around here seems to have, but that seemed all the more reason to keep him home. I didn't want him just on the edge of getting better and then to have to spend another day in the germiness of daycare and get worse again. Plus, you know that feeling when you're sick and all you want is to be in your own bed? I can't imagine having no voice, no mobility, no ability to blow your own nose and be in that situation, without your mom and dad and dog to make you feel better.
However, my mental struggle went something like this: he didn't have a fever, was in a great mood, and was really fine, just a little stuffed up. I know that as flu season commences, many more bugs will plague our house, and I'll eventually need each and every one of my hard earned sick days to stay home when he is actually sick (or I am!) and needs to go to the doctor or otherwise. I've been working to organize a big meeting tomorrow, and I telecommuted Monday and Wednesday. My face needed to be seen in the office to put the finishing touches on my meeting prep and, let's face it, to make sure all my colleagues know I am still pulling my weight. I wonder if every working mom feels the extra need to prove herself all the time this way. I just have this very visceral drive to prove that nothing has changed, even though absolutely everything has, and everyone knows it.
We ended up deciding to send him in. I called to check on him midday, and he was sleeping the day away, hopefully resting himself so that his little immune system can kill this off for good. His teacher thanked me for sharing him with them, as she feels his peaceful nature makes her feel more peaceful (I quote! I swear I am not exaggerating!). You can't beat that, right? We feel good about our childcare, and we have a tough little guy, and somehow I know we'll all get through this experience together. Still, though, days like today are hard on this new mama.